- Open Choose a medical group or hospital
Change Location
Sutter Health
- BOOK APPOINTMENT
- MENU Open Menu
Book Appointment
Walk-In Care
In-person care for minor illnesses.
Urgent Care
In-person care for moderate illnesses and injuries.
Video Visits
Virtual care with a Walk-In Care clinician.
Primary Care
Ongoing care and wellness for everyone.
COVID-19
Resources for vaccination and boosters.
Patient Login
- Sign In to My Health Online
- Enroll in My Health Online
- Learn About My Health Online
Patients and Visitors
Get personalized, coordinated care across Northern California through the Sutter network. View Patient Resources
My Health Online
Make appointments, message your doctor and more through our patient portal. Enroll Now- Find a Doctor
- Find a Location
- View All Services
- Request Records
- Pay a Bill
- Check Symptoms
Patient Resources
- Contact Us
- Patient and Visitor Information
- My Health Online Patient Portal
- Classes and Events
- Doctor Referrals
- Health and Wellness
- COVID-19 Vaccine Resources
Billing and Insurance
- Pay a Bill
- Accepted Health Plans
- Cost Estimates/Charges
- Medicare Advantage
- Sutter Health Plus
Treatments and Services
Access award-winning, comprehensive primary and specialty care for your whole family. View All Services
Schedule a Visit
Convenient care options for your everyday health needs. Book AppointmentGet Care
Featured Services
- Mental Health
- Pregnancy and Childbirth
- Imaging
- Pediatrics
- Orthopedics
- Cancer
- Heart and Vascular
- Dermatology
- Physical Therapy
- Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT)
- Labs
- Urology
- Neuroscience
- Women's Health (OB/GYN)
- View All Services
Research and Education
Our contributions to medical research and education lead to better healthcare outcomes. Research at Sutter
Graduate Medical Education
Join our robust training programs led by nationally known healthcare leaders. Explore OpportunitiesResearch
- Clinical Trials
- Research Studies
- Publications
- Investigators
Education
- Residencies and Fellowships
- Continuing Medical Education
About Us
Explore the ways we provide innovative, compassionate care through our network. Learn About Sutter Health
Work at Sutter Health
Shape the future of healthcare and build your career within our diverse teams. Find JobsAbout Sutter Health
- About Us
- Diversity and Inclusion
- Awards and Honors
- Leadership
- Annual Report
- News and Media
- Patient Stories
- Business Programs
Community
- Giving
- Volunteer With Us
- Community Benefit
Careers
- Jobs at Sutter
- Physician Opportunities
- Residencies and Fellowships
- Find a Doctor
- Find a Location
- View All Services
- Request Records
- Pay a Bill
- Check Symptoms
Patient Resources
- Contact Us
- Patient and Visitor Information
- My Health Online Patient Portal
- Classes and Events
- Doctor Referrals
- Health and Wellness
- COVID-19 Vaccine Resources
Billing and Insurance
- Pay a Bill
- Accepted Health Plans
- Cost Estimates/Charges
- Medicare Advantage
- Sutter Health Plus
Patients and Visitors
Get personalized, coordinated care across Northern California through the Sutter network.
My Health Online
Make appointments, message your doctor and more through our patient portal.
My Health Online
Make appointments, message your doctor and more through our patient portal.
Get Care
Featured Services
- Mental Health
- Pregnancy and Childbirth
- Imaging
- Pediatrics
- Orthopedics
- Cancer
- Heart and Vascular
- Dermatology
- Physical Therapy
- Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT)
- Labs
- Urology
- Neuroscience
- Women's Health (OB/GYN)
Treatments and Services
Access award-winning, comprehensive primary and specialty care for your whole family.
Schedule a Visit
Convenient care options for your everyday health needs.
Research
- Clinical Trials
- Research Studies
- Publications
- Publications
Education
- Residencies and Fellowships
- Continuing Medical Education
Research and Education
Our contributions to medical research and education lead to better healthcare outcomes.
Graduate Medical Education
Join our robust training programs led by nationally known healthcare leaders.
Graduate Medical Education
Join our robust training programs led by nationally known healthcare leaders.
About Sutter Health
- About Us
- Diversity and Inclusion
- Awards and Honors
- Leadership
- Annual Report
- News and Media
- Patient Stories
- Business Programs
Community
- Giving
- Volunteer With Us
- Community Benefit
Careers
- Jobs at Sutter
- Physician Opportunities
- Residencies and Fellowships
About Us
Explore the ways we provide innovative, compassionate care through our network.
Work at Sutter Health
Shape the future of healthcare and build your career within our diverse teams.
Work at Sutter Health
Shape the future of healthcare and build your career within our diverse teams.
- Home
- Health and Wellness
- For Teens by Teens
- Sexual Health
- Consent
Consent and Consensual Sex
The basis of any sexual encounter should be clear and capable agreement.
Teens Participating in the Summer Wellness Programs
Palo Alto Medical Foundation
The issue of consensual sex typically comes up only when there’s doubt about whether both people engaging in sex want it to happen. However, consent should be discussed whenever you’re thinking about a possible sexual encounter.
In fact, consent should be the basis for every sexual encounter. Engaging in a sexual act without the other person’s consent is considered sexual assault or rape.
Every act requires consent. Even if you’ve been kissing, that doesn’t mean you can’t say “no” to anything further.
What is Consent?
- Both people in a sexual encounter must agree to it.
- Either person may decide at any time that they no longer consent and want to stop.
- When you consent to one behavior, that doesn’t obligate you to consent to any other behaviors.
- When you consent on one occasion, that doesn’t obligate you to consent on any other occasion.
Consenting means only that at this particular time, you would like to engage in this particular sexual behavior.
How Do You Determine Consent?
To determine if someone is giving consent, you must be able to answer two questions:
- Does the person want to give consent?
- Is the person capable of giving consent?
The easiest way to determine consent is simply to ask. This eliminates the uncertainty of guessing and trying to interpret signals.
Someone putting their hand on your hand might indicate that they like what you’re doing … or it might mean they want you to stop. The only way to be sure is to ask.
A person may also give consent nonverbally by actively engaging in the sexual act. Clearly, this implied consent is more difficult to gauge. So, if your partner seems to become more hesitant or uncomfortable, stop. Reassure your partner that you don’t want to do anything they don’t also want to do.
What If a Person Does Not or Cannot Give Consent?
Above all, if your partner ever says “no” during sex or asks you to stop, you must stop immediately. Saying no should never be treated as a game or as a signal that someone is “playing hard to get.” Simply put, “no” means “no” in any sexual encounter.
Certain circumstances make it impossible for a person to legally give consent. These circumstances include:
- When a person is not mentally or physically capable of choosing whether to engage in sexual behavior. Even if someone who is drunk or high seems eager to engage in sexual behavior, doing so can legally be considered sexual assault or rape.
- When a person is under age. The age at which a person can legally give consent for certain sexual behaviors, such as intercourse, oral sex or anal sex, varies by country and by U.S. state. Having sex with someone under the age of consent is legally considered a crime (statutory rape), even if the underage person says they wanted the sexual behavior to take place.
Why Should You Talk to Your Partner?
Making sure that your partner consents to a sexual encounter is one of the most important parts of having a mutually satisfying and ethical experience. Check in with yourself and your partner often to make sure that you’re both comfortable with what’s happening, and respect each other’s feelings.
Your partner might consent to oral sex but not to sexual intercourse, or you might consent to genital touching on one occasion but not another. You always have the right to say no, and anytime either you or your partner says no, the other person must respect that decision.
Even though talking beforehand doesn’t mean that both people will consent later, it makes it more likely that you and your partner will understand each other’s values and feelings.
Finally, if you’re unsure what rights you have in a sexual encounter, such as the right to stop giving consent and end the encounter at any time, read Sexual Rights.
Last Reviewed: August 2019
